For years now I’ve thought of myself as conflict avoidant. Maybe there’s another way of framing that. And maybe what I’m about to say is self-justification for continuing unhelpful behavior–but hear me out.
If it’s true that we all have a daimon, guardian angel, inner voice, Self, whatever you want to call it, then it follows that one of the primary ways that inner reality manifests itself is as intuition. If, as Hillman says, the daimon accompanies you in order to keep you on the path of your calling, then intuition can sometimes be navigation.
In mainstream therapeutic culture, the feeling I get when I don’t want to engage in certain conversations–or the feeling that comes afterward when I ignore that reluctance and engage anyway–can be described as conflict avoidance due to certain events of my childhood. It is a very tidy, parsimonious explanation. My behavior is interpreted as unhelpful, even harmful, repression of my own voice or feelings.
What if, instead, what we call conflict avoidance is my daimon telling me, “not your circus, not your monkeys”? In my own case, I have indeed engaged in difficult conversations involving conflict and even confrontation. The difference being that those conversations had to happen. In order for my life to move forward in one way or another, the conflict had to be faced and resolved. Which, of course, doesn’t mean I enjoyed them.
Listen, like all humans, I’m good at self-justification and that may be what I’m doing. At the same time, I love a weird, unparsimonious explanation. Alarm bells sound anytime someone explains something as “just” whatever.
I’m not the sort of person who is in any danger of turning myself over to unchecked intuitive behavior. My overactive conscience will make sure of that. However, maybe a more trustful disposition to that inner voice is in order.